Wrong way

I woke up to cat vomit on the scale. 

This was appropriate.

Turns out you cannot eat out every freaking day of the week and expect to lose weight.  Or maybe you can but I'd have to deem you some sort of fantastic mystical dieting guru of wonder.  You probably also get your food energy from thoughts and poop rainbows.

Perhaps it's just a skill I need to work on? Dining out responsibly.  Not pooping rainbows.

So in the fifth week of THE UNFATTENING!!!! DUN! DUN!!! DUN!!!!!!!!!!!! I gained. That's right GAINED 0.8lbs. 

It made me sad.

So sad. Like this.  I'd sob with him, but his giant forehead is too mesmerizing.  It's a good thing he has bangs.  No, there's never really a good reason a man has bangs.

Also, his eyebrows remind me of this cat: 

So worried. Don't worry weird little cat.  A little weight gain happens.

Or I could cry like this. Or not. I don't think my face can do that. Thankfully.

Ok, so let's look back at my week. Tons, TONS of dining out.  I kept track of everything and I think I did well on tracking the portion size correctly.  I weigh and measure all of my food at home, so I'm pretty good at estimating food out in the big wide world. But maybe I was off. Also, restaurant food has TONS of salt.  So, it could be water retention.  And the last straw I'll grasp at here is that I am a female human.  We retain water for all sorts of reasons and no reason at all.  Women are mysterious, as most men will tell you.

Enough crying (unless it will help with water retention).  What am I going to do about this travesty?  

This week I vow to eat out less and cook at home more. I'll remember to drink TONS of water.  The more water you drink, the less you retain.  The body is a hoarder in desperate times.  

I like water with a citrus slice (orange, lemon, lime, grapefruit) and some herbs (mint, basil, parsley, a teeny bit of thyme is interesting, too). Refreshing! Less boring than plain. More natural than powdered crap in a packet. 

I've also started exercising.  Sunday there was the bike ride on the Indian Head Rail Trail.  Yesterday I went to zumba at StudioX.  And today I went to yoga and did a little cardio on the elliptical at my gym.

And let me be totally honest -exercise sucks. Right now anyway.  I used to LOVE zumba. LOVE it.  I'd go nearly every day of the week.  But half way through this class, I was thinking of walking out. Thought I was gonna die.  Luckily I had enough sense left to shut up my panicky brain and modified the moves (just arms or just legs) until I felt like my heart wasn't going to jump out of my chest.  But, it really does not help that I have to wear my cage.  

Pivoting is restricted and I'm not keen on jumping much anymore, even though I am allowed. It kind of weighs me down a bit, as if I've got a little kid strapped to my leg. So it's hard to really get into the Latin rhythms, ya know?  Luckily I don't have to wear it while biking or doing yoga.

Yoga was pretty good.  I do wear soft volleyball knee pads so that I can get on my knees comfortably and they don't restrict movement much at all.  No fussing with folding the mat over when on all fours.  I highly recommend them for any yogi with sensitive knees.  I was a little concerned when we started the class on all fours and proceeded to do like 10 minutes of variations of cat and cow and child's pose.  Made it through though, with only a modest amount internal whining.  Got in a very nice half moon pose later in the class, so in the end I was pretty happy. 

But the most important thing is to remember to just keep at it.  Celebrate the successes and accept, learn, and move on from the failures.  Generally a good idea for all aspects of life. I'm in it for the long haul.